per-se-ver-ance [pur-suh-veer-uh ns]
–noun 1. steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., esp. in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.
Often times after one my presentations students will come up to me and want to ask me a question. What’s interesting is that the majority of the time it’s never a question that they want to ask. Instead, they just want to share their story and have someone truly listen. No judgment, no advice, just someone to hear their story with an open mind and heart. Afterwards they always ask me to share their story with others in the hope that it will help and inspire someone else.
The stories that I have heard over the past twenty years from teenagers and adults have had a profound impact on my life. When I share those stories they remind all of us about so many life lessons. One of the biggest being – perseverance. Here is an example.
I met Christopher R., a senior at a high school that I was speaking at last week in Pennsylvania. He grew up in a dysfunctional family, was abused until the age of twelve, had to move, and missed 50+ days of school in the 6th grade. He was placed in foster care where, even there, they did not provide clothing or other needs like hygiene products. After seeing so many other kids in the foster home go to new homes before he did, he grew very frustrated, but kept his positive attitude.
After five and a half years of foster care, he moved back to his mother’s house, where after 4 months, he had to move out because of difficulties with his mom. For the past year, his senior year, he has been living with a roommate in a house just outside of town, paying his own rent and expenses. Christopher is doing all of this while going to school and taking part in his church ministry. He will be graduating from high school with the most college credits than anyone else in his school.
He has recently signed an eight year contract with the Navy to be a nuclear engineer. I asked him what advice he would give to others and he answered, “To never let your past define your future, have faith, and persevere.”
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I am one of Chris’s best friends. I actually didn’t know some of these things about him. I have witnessed the things he went through. One time I walked over to his foster home to see if he wanted to hang out but before he could leave he was told he had to take about two dozen 1 gallon full water jugs down to the basement. I asked to help him. As we were taking them down to the basement his foster parents were just sitting there in kitchen talking to their friends drinking beer. I felt that Chris didn’t deserve this kind of treatment he’s a good kid and a good friend. I’m glad for him that he is doing so well.
Thanks Derek for sharing your thoughts. There is nothing like a best friend to help you and support you during challenging times.
Keep making a difference.