Going into a new year I am always excited about the new goals that I have planned that I sometimes have the tendency to create high expectations of how things will turn out. It almost happened last week when I took my four-year-old son Ryan skiing for the first time. We were both so excited and I was ready for a long fun-filled day on the slopes.
Once his skis were on we proceeded to the “beginner hill”. I enthusiastically began to teach Ryan about “french fries and apple pie” which is an easy way to remember how to position your skis. French fries for keeping the skis straight and apple pie for making the shape to snow plow down the hill.
The lesson ended after about five minutes as Ryan became more interested about when we could go up the giant chairlift, on why he could not have his own ski poles, and when could he ski really fast by himself.
It was at that moment I could feel myself becoming frustrated because this was not the way that I thought his first time skiing should go. I expected it to be easier and never thought of the work out I would get from continually picking him up and putting his skis back on. I realized I had set up this high expectation of what our day together skiing would look like. It was at that moment that I stopped and said to myself, “let the expectation go, everything is happening just the way it’s supposed to.”
Our remaining time on the mountain involved me picking him up, answering questions, and lots of laughing. After only a half an hour outside he declared he was done for the day and that it was time for hot chocolate. Perfect.
If I had not caught myself on the slopes that day with him I could have made the whole experience a miserable one for me and most of all Ryan. It’s a great lesson for all of us to remember as we go into a new year filled with possibilities.
It’s important to dream big, clearly set your goals, and to take action in achieving them. But none of that really matters if our expectations are set so high that we never get to truly enjoy what we are experiencing and what we have accomplished. To make 2009 the best that it can be I think you have to go into each day with no expectations. When you do that you not only don’t force things to go a certain way, you also are able to relax, be in the moment and have more fun.
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Excellent thoughts Ed. I know I’m going to have one of those sorts of moments, I hope I catch myself as you did.
FYI, a new social media network for Dads has just opened. http://dad-blogs.com/ You’d be a great addition.
Great point Ed. The best is that you were able to recognize it before it was too late!
First of all, great photo of Ryan on the slopes and I hope you keep this story and photo for him for his future.
At 4 or 44, we can all benefit from true commitment from those around us with no expectation of how it will turn out.
I toast Ryan’s hot chocolate moment and what HE is teaching you.
Good points, Ed. I will keep them in mind with my two. And as a parent who has introduced two kids to skiing, I’ll offer you this advice: enroll them in lessons! For some reason, my kids listened so much more attentively when it wasn’t me telling them how to do it.
And you’ll appreciate this… last year when I was trying to teach 5-year-old Alaina “french fries and pizza slice,” I told her when she wanted to slow down to do “pizza slice.” She said, “but mommy, I don’t want to go slow!” I think I’m in trouble!
Ed, I love the new blog layout, very nice. I wanted to also tell you that this coming Monday I’ll be giving those 4 copies of Combinations to my High School and I’m taking some time each morning to reread the book and talk about it on my blog. I think that your words can also be very inspiring to bloggers as well.
hey ed! you came to my school recently and i just wanted to say thanks… i clicked this link for your blog to see what it was all about… i am a ski instructor, and even with kids who are not my own, i know all too well the frustration of trying to teach the sport! i am glad your day went well… i swear that a good attitude and a cup of hot chocolate can fix anything!