“When one door closes, another opens;
but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door
that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”
- Alexander Graham Bell

Jenna playing soccer

Some of the greatest lessons that a person can learn about life and leadership comes from playing sports.

It’s on the playing field that we discover how important it is to have a positive attitude, be a team player, and give 100% effort.  There is also an inherent risk of injury, defeat, and disappointment when it comes to playing sports. How we handle those challenges and what we learn from them can help us not only grow as an athlete but more importantly as a person.

Jenna, a student-athlete at Essex High School in Essex, VT knows this first hand. Going into her senior year she was captain of her soccer team and the season ahead was full of promise. During a preseason game in one play Jenna tore her left ACL, cracked her kneecap and cracked her femur bone. Her season was over – and for someone who lived and breathed soccer – Jenna was devastated.

She now had to face one of the biggest challenges an athlete can be confronted with – dealing with a season-ending injury.

I asked Jenna how she handled this setback and what she did to turn such a painful experience into something positive. Her lessons and insights may not only make a difference for athletes but for anyone confronted with an unexpected turn of events.

It’s Okay to be disappointed, sad, frustrated and even angry.

It can be a shock to learn that you cannot finish your season or possibly ever play again. Give yourself the time to process the upset. It’s okay to be disappointed, sad, frustrated and even angry at first. The best thing for parents, friends, family and coaches to do is to bring as much understanding and compassion to the situation as possible.

When you’re dealing with a student athlete who has a passion and love for the game and has spent their whole life playing a sport and then has a season-ending injury, the last thing they want to hear initially is ‘you’ll bounce back from this’. Just listen and let a little time pass.

Set new goals

Redefine your role and focus

Once you have had time to process the disappointment, it’s important to re-frame this experience and focus on what you can control and contribute to your team. In this case, Jenna asked herself, “although I can’t be a leader on the field, what can I do from the sidelines as a captain/leader/teammate to help my team?”

Examples include: spending extra time after practice with a player who is struggling with their shot or helping a player with their dribbling. It could include taking the time to have 1-on-1 conversations with some of the players and letting them know what a great job they’re doing, encouraging them to do their best. By being engaged in the game and encouraging her teammates Jenna was able to “not get caught up in the past and what could have been.”

Create new opportunities

Student athletes can sometimes define themselves as just a “soccer player” or a “basketball player” and lose sight of the bigger picture. When you are faced with a season-ending injury it causes you to see that you are much more than just the sport that you play. You have other talents and have the choice to start setting new goals and create new opportunities.  For example, you may find that after going to physical therapy to recover from your injury that you now want to get into sports medicine.

Keeping the passion for the game

Just because you can no longer play your sport does not mean you cannot be a part of it. You could get into coaching, become a sports broadcaster, or even work for a professional team in public relations.

The point is the love and passion for the game does not have to go away, you just might have to walk through another door to find it.

What have you learned in dealing with a season-ending injury? Share in the comment box below or connect with me on Facebook and Twitter.

Life Lessons from a Season-Ending Injury is a post from: Copyright 2010 Ed Gerety's Dream Big Blog

Timothy Roback is a 7th grader at East Jordan Middle School in East Jordan, Michigan and is the activity coordinator for a club at his school called The Shoe Club. The club is designed to inspire students to work hard, set goals, dream big and to give back to other people. I asked him to be a guest blogger on my blog and share his experience of being a part of such an important project. Also, check out the cool video by his great teacher Matt Hamilton who gives you an inside look at The Shoe Club.

“In our life there are two types of people; good role models, and bad role models. The “Shoe Club” is a club to teach kids how to be a good role model and inspire people themselves, just like their role models before them. One motto we have is, invest in yourself and invest in others. This means to always be helpful. But don’t go too far, as in when you have no time for yourself or just trying to please someone else. The Shoe Club has taught me a ton of stuff on being a better person, always doing the right thing and dreaming big! I would like to share some of those things with you. First and foremost, some members of the Shoe Club went on a trip to Chicago in February. During this trip I had quite a bit of fun, but that isn’t the main thing I took out of that trip. The two main things I did take out of that trip are; 1.) I met some amazing people from around the Country that were very good at sharing their ideas with me and all of my peers. 2.) The new leadership and community service ideas I got from it. I would never think I could have that much fun while learning new stuff! It was nothing like I had expected! Another thing we do in the Shoe Club is to go to our local care facility, Grandvue Medical Center. We go there to keep all of the residents company. There are many people there that fight a battle everyday and most people don’t know about it. I really enjoyed going there to visit with the older folks, playing bingo with them and hearing some great stories about their past. Both of these trips have taught me a lot about leadership from two different standpoints; a leading one and a caring form of leadership. This is why I joined the club, to learn. I like learning and this club has made it a fun experience, just like in Chicago.

Right now we are planning a custodian appreciation day. This is a day where we try to make it special for the custodians of our school by making their job easier throughout the day. I really do believe that the Shoe Club impacts the lives of all the students engaged with it. Some day, I hope it will impact the world, and I think it has the ability to do so! “ – Timothy Roback

Here is The Shoe Club video

Shoe Club Inspiration is a post from: Copyright 2010 Ed Gerety's Dream Big Blog

Last week I had the opportunity to speak at Keene High School in Keene, New Hampshire. The main focus of my school-wide assembly is on respect, responsibility, and gratitude. I talked with the students and teachers about how important it is to appreciate the people in your life and to let those close to you know how much you love them.

That evening I received an e-mail from one of the teachers. I was so moved by her story and what she shared with me that I went back to the school the next day to thank her. I gave her a hug and let her know how touched I was by her words and her attitude on the incredible loss she and her children had to recently face.

I asked her if I could share with you what she wrote to me on my blog. She agreed. I hope that you are reminded, as I was, about how important it is to appreciate everyday and say I love you.

Here is her e-mail.

Dear Ed,

I have been teaching at KHS for 18 years.  Today, I was lucky enough to accompany my senior Women’s Literature class to your presentation.  It turned into the perfect segue to a service project we’re doing, but more than that, it brought up a lot for me.

It was hard hearing some of the words about loss and never knowing when, because tomorrow will be eight months from the date the a police officer showed up at my door, telling my two elementary-aged kids and myself that my husband died in a winter-related car accident on the way to work.

The thing is, I have always been so very grateful for that last weekend we spent together.  Two days before was our 17th wedding anniversary, and we spent it at a wonderful love-filled couples’ party.  The day before was family day, with a trip to an IMAX movie and a family game of laser tag.

Most importantly, however, is that because it was Martin Luther King Day and the kids and I were home from school, that morning we all kissed goodbye, ALL exchanged I Love Yous.  My kids and I do not have to fear he didn’t know or wish we said it.

I hope all of those kids (and the teachers in the audience too) take your message to heart.  Not only should they pay it forward, not bully, stick up for others, and in essence make the world a better place, but they should shout their I Love Yous from the rooftops.  Maybe, because of your words today, some of them will.

Blessings and Gratitude,

Kim Dowd
Keene High School English teacher

Shout, “I Love You” From The Rooftops! is a post from: Copyright 2010 Ed Gerety's Dream Big Blog

My 5 year old son Ryan learned to ride his bike without training wheels this past weekend. I am not sure if he will remember the moment, but it is one that my wife Suzanne and I will never forget.

The morning of the big event I asked Ryan, “Is today the day you are ready to take the training wheels off of your bike?” His reply was “Yeah, I think so, I am five-and-a-half now.” After that reply he then followed up with a series of questions.

“Dad, what if I fall down?”

I answered, “Ryan, if you fall that’s okay because we all fall down when we try something new, the important thing is to get back up and try it again.”

“Will you and mom be behind me?” he asked.

“Yes, we will be right behind you but at some point we will have to let you go and you have to trust that you will find your balance.”

“How fast will I be able to go?” he said.

“You will want to take it slow at first but as you get more confident and more experience you can go as fast as you want.”

As we watched him pedal down the driveway with his new found freedom I realized that finding your balance in life is not always easy and you can learn a lot from teaching a little boy how to find it on a bicycle for the first time.

Finding your Balance is a post from: Copyright 2010 Ed Gerety's Dream Big Blog

Recently a high school student named Kelly asked me the following question: “I have this big problem, Ed. People are calling me names and saying I have no friends and no one likes me… I’m starting to think that it’s true. My self esteem is going way down. Please help.”

Kelly is not alone – there are thousands of teenagers who feel this way every day. The best thing Kelly did was ask for help. It is important to remember and know that as teens and even as adults you are not alone. There are people to help you and support you if you are willing to look and have the courage to ask for help and advice. The biggest challenge is then putting into action the advice or support that is offered to you.

Here’s the advice I have for Kelly, she has to ask herself some questions and then take the time to really answer them at a deep level.

Who is the source?

You always have to consider the source of where negative information or comments come from. If they are coming from someone whom you do not respect or trust, then you can disregard the comments as nonsense or as another example of a coward or bully trying to tear someone down to make themselves feel better. This will help you keep things in perspective.

Who is one friend that you trust and can count on?

There are plenty of people who claim or give the perception that they have a lot of friends. However, it is the quality of friendships in your life that will help you get through difficult or challenging times. Nurture a friendship with even one person that you trust and can talk to. When you have a great friendship with a person who supports you, encourages you and is there to pick you up when you’re feeling down it will make a world of difference, versus a crowd of superficial relationships.

What are you grateful for in your life right now?

Ask yourself what you are grateful or thankful for in your life right now? Start with one thing and then list five things. When you begin to really reflect on what you are grateful for in your life you cannot help but begin to focus on the positive.

What challenges and obstacles have you had to overcome in your life?

Self-esteem does not come from looking in the mirror and saying to yourself ‘you are incredible’! Self-esteem comes from looking at your life and seeing how much you have grown, what you have experienced, and had to overcome. It’s about looking at the successes you have had in your life so far and also seeing how you’ve persevered through challenges. Take the time to look back to see just how far you have come. Then look ahead and focus on all of the wonderful things that are possible. This is what will carry you through the ups and downs of life.

Is that it? Just focus on these questions and answers and everything will be better?

I wish it was that easy and the answer that simple. The truth is that there are always going to be mean people who are cruel and gossip about others. It does not stop in high school or in college. There are bullies everywhere and at almost every age. That is why it is so important to surround yourself with positive people and positive things whenever possible. What you focus on – you attract. What you think about – you become. Don’t let negative people bring you down, don’t let them hold you back from being kind and from dreaming big. The fact is that you are an amazing human being who has gifts and talents – many that are still to be discovered – that are going to help you create an extraordinary life and make the world a better place.

Can Gratitude Increase Your Self-Esteem? is a post from: Copyright 2010 Ed Gerety's Dream Big Blog