Ed Gerety's Dream Big Blog

A giant storm hit our town last week and knocked down one of the largest trees in our yard.

When we cut it down it was amazing to see the distinct pattern of concentric tree rings. A tree ring represents a layer of wood that is produced during one tree’s growing season. By counting the tree rings you can estimate the age of the tree. By my count the tree was 80 years old.

In looking at the tree rings I could not help but think about all the things that the tree had been through. From giant snow storms, windy days, hot summer days, and other challenges. Each ring told a story.

When you think about it our life is just like that. Each year we grow and become another year older. Our life expands and another ring is added.

With spring time approaching, also known as the growing season I think it’s a great time to ask the question…

If you were to draw a picture of tree rings that represented each year of your life what would it look like?

Have the roots of your spirituality grown deeper? Are your relationships stronger? Have you branched out and tried new things? Do you have big goals and dreams that reach the sky?

I know that in looking at the tree rings of my life I have a lot more to do. There are areas of my life that need improvement, experiences that will help me grow, and certain dreams that will take time and patience to achieve.

On a recent flight from Boston to Phoenix I sat next to this amazing person. I did not know it at first, as is often the case on an airplane the person next to you is a stranger. We exchanged hellos when she first sat down and that was it until about 30 minutes into the flight I asked her if Phoenix was her final destination. She said no, and that she was flying to LA to go to the Grammy Awards as her partner had been nominated for one.

“How cool is that!” I said to her and then I asked if she was excited, and for what category he was nominated. The pleasant conversation continued from there.

It turned out that the woman I was talking with was the best-selling author of the book The Art of Possibility – a great book about transforming your entire world and living your life in the universe of possibility.

Rosamund Stone Zander and I had an amazing conversation and it made the 4.5 hour flight to Phoenix a short one.

What if I had never bothered to say hello to her when she first sat down next to me? What if I never asked her a question? What if I just ignored her, put on my iPod, and read my book?

I would never have made that connection and I would have missed out on an opportunity to learn from her experiences and life lessons. It’s easy to mind your own business when you are traveling, to just talk on your cell phone and text away as if there is no one around you. When we do that we miss out on meeting someone that could help us personally or professionally. We miss out on making a connection with perhaps a new friend.

If you are one of those people who are shy about meeting new people. Here are three things that you can do to improve your social skills.

1. Smile- It’s the one universal thing that we can do to let another know that you are friendly.

2. Be Present- Really listen to the other person so they know you care about what they are saying. Ask them questions about what they are passionate about.

3. Don’t complain- There is nothing worse than meeting someone for the first time and listen to them complain and whine about something. People want to be around people that are positive and upbeat.

The next time you find yourself in an opportunity to meet new people, take a positive risk. Smile. Say hello. You never know who is sitting next to you.

per-se-ver-ance [pur-suh-veer-uh ns]

–noun 1. steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., esp. in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.

Often times after one my presentations students will come up to me and want to ask me a question. What’s interesting is that the majority of the time it’s never a question that they want to ask. Instead, they just want to share their story and have someone truly listen. No judgment, no advice, just someone to hear their story with an open mind and heart. Afterwards they always ask me to share their story with others in the hope that it will help and inspire someone else.

The stories that I have heard over the past twenty years from teenagers and adults have had a profound impact on my life. When I share those stories they remind all of us about so many life lessons. One of the biggest being – perseverance. Here is an example.

I met Christopher R., a senior at a high school that I was speaking at last week in Pennsylvania. He grew up in a dysfunctional family, was abused until the age of twelve, had to move, and missed 50+ days of school in the 6th grade. He was placed in foster care where, even there, they did not provide clothing or other needs like hygiene products. After seeing so many other kids in the foster home go to new homes before he did, he grew very frustrated, but kept his positive attitude.

After five and a half years of foster care, he moved back to his mother’s house, where after 4 months, he had to move out because of difficulties with his mom. For the past year, his senior year, he has been living with a roommate in a house just outside of town, paying his own rent and expenses. Christopher is doing all of this while going to school and taking part in his church ministry. He will be graduating from high school with the most college credits than anyone else in his school.

He has recently signed an eight year contract with the Navy to be a nuclear engineer. I asked him what advice he would give to others and he answered, “To never let your past define your future, have faith, and persevere.”