Ed Gerety's Dream Big Blog

per-se-ver-ance [pur-suh-veer-uh ns]

–noun 1. steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., esp. in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.

Often times after one my presentations students will come up to me and want to ask me a question. What’s interesting is that the majority of the time it’s never a question that they want to ask. Instead, they just want to share their story and have someone truly listen. No judgment, no advice, just someone to hear their story with an open mind and heart. Afterwards they always ask me to share their story with others in the hope that it will help and inspire someone else.

The stories that I have heard over the past twenty years from teenagers and adults have had a profound impact on my life. When I share those stories they remind all of us about so many life lessons. One of the biggest being – perseverance. Here is an example.

I met Christopher R., a senior at a high school that I was speaking at last week in Pennsylvania. He grew up in a dysfunctional family, was abused until the age of twelve, had to move, and missed 50+ days of school in the 6th grade. He was placed in foster care where, even there, they did not provide clothing or other needs like hygiene products. After seeing so many other kids in the foster home go to new homes before he did, he grew very frustrated, but kept his positive attitude.

After five and a half years of foster care, he moved back to his mother’s house, where after 4 months, he had to move out because of difficulties with his mom. For the past year, his senior year, he has been living with a roommate in a house just outside of town, paying his own rent and expenses. Christopher is doing all of this while going to school and taking part in his church ministry. He will be graduating from high school with the most college credits than anyone else in his school.

He has recently signed an eight year contract with the Navy to be a nuclear engineer. I asked him what advice he would give to others and he answered, “To never let your past define your future, have faith, and persevere.”

Happy 2010! As we go into the New Year I wanted to share with you one of the messages that I deliver in my keynote speeches and in my leadership trainings to schools and organizations across North America.

It is a great reminder about leading by example.

In every area of our lives, as leaders, we have the power to choose. From how we treat one another – to how we resolve a conflict – to what we allow to put into our bodies. From our goals to our dreams – to what we stand for and what we believe in. Yes, even in the relationships we get involved in.

But the greatest choice you and I have the power to make as leaders and playing big in the game of life…is leading by example.

I used to think that it’s not what you say as a leader it’s what you do. I don’t agree with that anymore. Absolutely it’s what you do as a leader no question but it’s also what you say.

Your word means everything as a leader. Someone once said that talk is cheap. Talk is not cheap. People make talk cheap.

Remember the words of Frank Outlaw. Frank Outlaw said, “Watch your thoughts, your thoughts become your words. Watch your words, your words become your actions. Watch your actions, your actions become your habits. Watch your habits, your habits become your character. Watch your character, your character becomes your destiny.”

Where in your life are you missing an opportunity to practice the art of kindness?

I know that it sounds like a general question but really think about the people that you interact with on a daily and weekly basis. Do you really know who they are or are they just that familiar face you always say hello to, comment about the weather with, and with whom you make a transaction.

Several years ago I discovered that in my case the latter was true. There were people in my community that I interacted with on a regular basis who I did not really know.

There was the woman who worked at our local dry cleaner. I would see her once a week and I was always nice to her but I every time I saw her it was more of a transaction than a connection. It wasn’t until a year ago that I actually took the time to even find out what her name was: Donna. From that point on I started to make a conscious effort that when I said hello to Donna and asked how are you? I really meant it and listened to her response. I still see Donna about once a week and I no longer see her as just ‘the nice person’ that I drop my clothes off to at the dry cleaner. Rather, she is a person in my community that I have a meaningful connection with.

Another example of this is the post office that I always go to in the little town of Newfields, NH. The post master there is Carol and just by taking the time to be kind to her she has become an important person in my community. I call her “Cool Car Carol” because she drives a silver mustang convertible that is always parked in the same spot and is super clean. When I see Carol I genuinely ask her how she is doing and what she has been up to. Throughout the year, especially during the holidays, I ship a large number of packages. Carol always goes the extra mile to make it an easy experience and that everything is done right.

In my keynote speeches and leadership trainings I talk about how every day we have the power to reach out and make a difference. It could be through a smile, a simple hello or a random act of kindness. I think that often times we forget that making a difference is really about recognizing that we have an opportunity to create extraordinary relationships and meaningful connections all around us whether it’s with our bank teller, dry cleaner, postal worker, or the stranger we just met. It simply starts with being kind.